I was a little worried about my lack of desire to blog today, when I found something that got me
going, as always. From Anglo-Saxon
Chronicle we have this sham of a
survey from the Labour Party, soliciting the opinions of the
public on the new 90 days without charge anti-terror law. Reproduced below:
Home Secretary Charles Clarke has asked you for your views on the new terrorist
threats that face all of us. Please fill in this quick form below to tell us what
you think.
- Do you think that our laws should be updated to cope with the current security
threat?
Yes/No/Not sure
- Do you think police should have the time and opportunity to complete their
investigations into suspected terrorists?
Yes/No/Not sure
- Do you think the government should make sure there are new safeguards to
protect innocent people?
Yes/No/Not sure
Do you think they got the answer they want?
Michael Howard has written
recently about how the Labour Party seems to view Yes, Minister as a training video rather than a comedy (thanks GavPolitics).
He’s more right than he knew.
Reproduced below, for your edification, is the section from Yes, Prime Minister
that Labour learned this cheap and tawdry trick from:
[Bernard:] I was somewhat naif in those days. I did not understand how the voters could be both for it
and against [reintroducing conscription]. Dear old Humphrey showed me how it’s done.
The secret is that when the Man In The Street is approached by a nice attractive young lady he is
asked a series of questions. Naturally the Man In The Street wants to make a good impression and doesn’t want
to make a fool of himself. So the market researcher asks questions designed to elicit consistent answers.
Humphrey demonstrated the system on me. ‘Mr. Woolley, are you worried about the rise in crime among teenagers?’
‘Yes,’ I said.
‘Do you think there is a lack of discipline and vigorous training in our Comprehensive Schools?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you think young people welcome some structure and leadership in their lives?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do they respond to a challenge?’
‘Yes.’
‘Might you be in favour of reintroducing National Service?’
‘Yes.’
Well, naturally I said yes. One could hardly have said anything else without looking inconsistent. Then what happens
is that the Opinion Poll only publishes the last question and answer.
Of course, the reputable polls didn’t conduct themselves like that. But there weren’t too many of those.
Humphrey suggested that we commission a new survey, not for the Party but for the Ministry of Defence. We did so.
He invented the questions there and then:
‘Mr. Woolley, are you worried about the danger of war?’
‘Yes,’ I said, quite honestly.
‘Are you unhappy about the growth of armaments?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you think there’s a danger in giving young people guns and teaching them how to kill?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you think it wrong to force people to take up arms against their will?’
‘Yes.’
‘Would you oppose the reintroduction of National Service?’
I’d said ‘Yes’ before I’d even realised it, d’you see?
Humphrey was crowing with delight. ‘You see, Bernard,’ he said to me, ‘you’re the
perfect Balanced Sample.’
Isn’t it just a perfect match?
The missing counter to Labour’s poll is:
Home Secretary Charles Clarke has asked you for your views on the new terrorist
threats that face all of us. Please fill in this quick form below to tell us what
you think.
- Do you think that terrorists should be allowed to erode our way of life?
Yes/No/Not sure
- Do you think the Police are the best people to decide on their own powers?
Yes/No/Not sure
- Do you think that the Police should be able to lock people up without telling
anyone the reason?
Yes/No/Not sure
- Do you support the Prime Minister’s proposal to allow the Police a hold people for a
quarter of year without charge?
Yes/No/Not sure
Yes, Minister: a training manual not a comedy. Only from Labour.